The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

[Stephanie P. sent me the e-mail below a while ago. I figured, given this week's events at work, it was the appropriate time to share it. The Big Boss came to talk to us, and told us that our low morale was not due to the fact that there have been numerous layoffs, that nobody has any real idea of our direction for the future, or that there seems to be no communication between the top level and us. No, our morale is low because we're a bunch of whiny crybabies with bad attitudes, and we should suck it up and be happy at work.]


HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK

When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the s#@! out of her"...You need to pray at work.

When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "what the f*&% do they want now?"..... You need to pray at work.

When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "which one of you sons of b*&^%$# turned off my computer?"..... You need to pray at work.

When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "well at my last office...," and you want to throw a stapler at him...... You need to pray at work.

When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, " what the h*&^ does she want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk......... You need to pray at work.

When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "both of y'all can kiss my a@@!!".... You need to pray at work.

When you take some vacation time and come backto find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think, "sorry a## M#$^%F%&#s"........ You need to pray at work.

If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping or flattening someone's tires that you work with...... You need to pray at work.

If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story .......You need to pray at work.

If you know all the words that have been bleeped out....You need to pray at work!
LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS


[Listening to: "Flake" by Jack Johnson]